What parents must do before giving kids a smartphone

The longer you wait to give your child a smartphone or allow them to join social media, the happier and more successful they are likely to become as adults, says psychologist Jean Twenge.

To help parents ease this technology delay, Twenge recommends starting to teach children how to use these technologies in safe and healthy ways at least six years in advance. Starting early helps prepare children to have healthy relationships with online technologies. Help them develop “To successful, well-adjusted adults,” she says.

“It’s great to have these rules in mind by the time your kids are in late elementary school, for example, so they’re ready,” says Twenge, a psychology professor at San Diego State University whose latest book is out. “Because kids are getting these devices younger and younger.”10 rules for raising children in a high-tech world“, published on September 2.

In her book, Twenge recommended against social media use for children until age 16, and wrote that children should not own a smartphone unless they also have a driver’s license and are expected to “navigate independently.” Their rationale: These technologies contribute to higher rates Mental health problems in adolescentsSuch as anxiety and depression,” she wrote.

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These statements made headlines, especially since many American parents are giving their children smartphones and social media too early. In one Recent Pew Research Center surveyMore than half of American parents said their 11- to 12-year-old children already have their own smartphones.

If you talk to your children about how to use Internet technology responsibly before they are 10 years old, or younger if they already regularly use Internet-connected devices such as laptops, you can help them understand and internalize the potential downsides of excessive smartphone and social media use, she says.

You can, for example, discuss the types of personal information you shouldn’t share with anyone online, from nude photos to personal information like your home address or Social Security number. You can talk about the value of privacy – reminding your kids to never assume that text or Snapchat messages will remain private, and to never post any information or opinions online that they wouldn’t be comfortable announcing over a loudspeaker at their school.

Twenge also advises teaching kids that “your time is a valuable resource,” and that they may eventually regret spending so much of their youth on a device rather than connecting with friends and family in person, she says.

The idea is to prepare them to have a healthier relationship with those technologies as they get older, Twenge says. But those conversations alone won’t guarantee success, she says, because you need to do something else, too.

One of the rules in Twenge’s book prohibits the use of smartphones during the school day and Overnight in the children’s bedrooms. Another one of its rules is that if parents want to give their child a device, their first phone should be a “primary” phone — one that isn’t connected to the Internet, but allows them to make calls and send text messages to their friends and family.

You can also use parental controls to guide children’s initial smartphone experiences, such as setting daily usage time limits to ensure kids aren’t immersed in social media for hours on end, or blocking adult-themed websites and apps.

“Teach them that moderation is key — and then put parental controls in place to make sure you don’t waste your breath,” Twenge wrote.

Whatever you do, communicate your rules directly to your children, she says.

“We’re going to have this conversation [and] “Be very clear about the controls we put on that phone,” Twenge says. “So when you get this smartphone, [for] For example, we’ll block app downloads, so if she wants to put additional apps on it, that’s a discussion, rather than just her doing it unilaterally, where we don’t even know what she has.

If your kids already have smartphones or social media, and you’re starting to regret that decision, don’t feel like it’s ever too late to reverse those choices, Twenge points out. Just be honest and transparent about why they made that decision. It’s saying, “Look, I made a mistake. I’ve learned more and we’ll do it differently in the future…”

She suggests that even if your teen’s initial reaction is extreme — “You might get some doors closed,” stay grounded and try to put everything into perspective. “Tell them, ‘Hey, you can still text your friends. You will still be able to contact me. “It’s either fun or no fun at all.” This helps put it in context.

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