Stop asking 'How was school today?' To raise successful kids, ask 7 questions instead

“My child won’t tell me anything about his day!” It’s a common concern I hear from parents in my psychotherapy office. They hope to get a glimpse into their children’s world. But the question “How was school today?” It usually results in a one-word answer.

As a therapist and book author13 things mentally strong parents never do“,” I encourage parents to ask thoughtful questions that spark meaningful conversations. When children reflect on their experiences, they practice and develop skills such as emotional awareness, problem solving, and empathy. Growth mindset.

Here are seven questions that lead to productive conversations and also help children grow stronger mentally:

1. “What is the best part of your day?”

This question encourages children to scan their brains for positives. For children who don’t like school or tend to focus on what went wrong, answering this question helps them build optimism and gratitude, which are protective factors for mental health.

Formulate the question based on your own experience, and say: “The best part of my day is going for a walk during my lunch break. What about you?” Your child might share a special moment, such as, “I played soccer at recess.”

2. “What mistake did you learn from today?”

This normalizes mistakes and celebrates health risk. Talking openly about mistakes reduces shame and helps children see them as opportunities for growth.

Ask in a curious tone, no Judgment: “Did anything happen today that you would do differently next time?” This might prompt them to say, “I forgot my library book so I’ll pack it up tonight so I don’t forget it.”

3. “Who were you proud of today?”

It works because it turns their attention to others and cultivates empathy. You will also gain insight into your child’s relationships and what he values.

Make the question more specific by asking, for example, “Did you see anyone trying hard to do something today?” Your child might talk about a friend who was brave or might pat themselves on the back and say, “My friend forgot her snack so she shared it with me.”

4. “What is one thing that would have made today better?”

This question helps children identify feelings such as frustration and disappointment without dwelling on those experiences. Naturally, it opens the door to problem solving and planning.

You can ask in a fun way, such as: “If you had a magic wand to change one thing about your day, what would it be?” This can lead to creative thoughts, such as: “I wish there was more time for my art project, so maybe I’ll bring it home to finish.”

5. “Who did you help today?”

You can be empowered – Children engaging in positive social behavior With such questions. When you ask regularly, children begin to look for opportunities to help and acts of kindness become second nature.

Ask about small acts of contribution: “How were you helpful today?” They might remember something simple, like, “I helped the teacher distribute the cards.”

6. “What is the most interesting thing you learned today?”

Curiosity emphasizes academic performance. Showing interest in the learning process itself nurtures lifelong learning.

Encourage children to talk about what they have learned beyond just their topics. They might share a fun fact, such as “I learned that my teacher knows how to play the violin.” Show interest and ask follow-up questions to keep the conversation going.

7. “What new thing would you like to try?”

This pushes children to look outside their comfort zone and encourages them to be brave. They don’t have to be good at something to try something new – it’s a learning experience.

If your child is hesitant to try new things, encourage him to experiment by asking, “Is there a club or activity that you’re curious to try just once?” They may be more likely to explore if they know they don’t have to commit to it forever.

Amy Maureen He is a psychotherapist, clinical social worker, and educator at Northeastern University. She is the author of many books including “13 Things Strong Kids Do: Think Big, Feel Good, and Act Brave” And “13 things mentally strong parents never doHer TEDx talk “The secret to becoming mentally strong” It is one of the most watched talks of all time. Follow her Instagram and Facebook.

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